100 Funny Jokes for Kids
Posted by Courtney McLaughlin
That will Make the Whole Family Laugh
Flex your funny bone with these kid-approved jokes that will keep every member of the family in stitches. Pick a category or take turns going down the list to see how many you get right. Keep the list handy for road trips or to make mealtime more fun! While you're at it, check out this list of 100 dad jokes to keep the laughs rolling.
- What animal loves a baseball game?
- What did the Dalmatian say after finishing her breakfast?
That hit the spot.
- What is black and white and red all over?
An embarrassed zebra.
- Where is a cow's favorite place to go?
- What do you call an alligator that solves mysteries?
- Why didn't the frog park his car on the street?
He didn't want to get toad.
- What's a cat's favorite color?
- What do ducks love to put in their soup?
- Why did the lion spit out the clown?
He tasted funny.
- What has six eyes but cannot see?
Three blind mice.
- What is an astronaut's favorite button on a keyboard?
- How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?
When it's full.
- What do planets love to read?
- What do Martians like to drink?
- What is an astronaut's favorite meal of the day?
- Why did the alien go to the doctor?
He was looking a little green.
- What did Venus say to Saturn?
Give me a ring.
- What do you call ticks in space?
- What do planets sing in a choir?
- Why did the sun refuse to go to school?
It already had a million degrees.
- What's a tornado's favorite game to play at a party?
- What fruit has to put on sunscreen at the beach?
Bananas - because they peel.
- What doesn't get any wetter no matter how much it rains?
- What is a gust of wind's favorite color?
- Why did the woman take a ketchup bottle outside when it was raining?
Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
- What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
- Where do happy lightning bolts live?
- What does a ghost wear to splash in puddles?
- What did one hurricane say to the other hurricane?
I have my eye on you.
- What is the sky's favorite accessory?
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- What do you call a sad strawberry?
- What is a banana's favorite footwear?
- What food is never on time?
- Why did the melon go for a swim?
It wanted to be a watermelon.
- Where do hamburgers go dancing?
- What do ghosts eat for dessert?
- What type of bagel loves to fly?
A plane bagel.
- What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
- Why didn't jelly trust the peanut butter with a secret?
It spreads too easily.
- What's an avocado's favorite kind of music?
Guac and roll!
- Why couldn't the man open the piano?
The keys were left inside.
- What type of music do frogs like?
- What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.
- What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can't tuna fish.
- Why did the girl sit on the ladder to sing her solo?
She wanted to hit the high notes.
- Why did the pianist put his head on the piano?
He was trying to play by ear.
- What instrument do turkeys play?
- How do you make a bandstand?
Take away the chairs.
- What's a pirate's favorite instrument?
- Why do pirates love to go shopping?
They always find things on sail.
- Why are pirates so difficult to get along with?
They always arrrr-gue.
- What's a pirate's favorite kind of fish?
- Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
They were all standing on the deck.
- What type of haircut does a pirate love to wear?
A crew cut.
- Why couldn't the pirate stop watching her favorite show?
She was hooked.
- How did the pirate call his mother?
On his aye-phone.
- What do pirates wear when it gets cold?
- What exercise does a pirate like best?
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- What type of dinosaur sleeps all the time?
- Why did the dinosaur go to the doctor?
He had an eye-saur.
- What do you call a dinosaur ghost?
- How did the dinosaur build her house?
With a dino-saw.
- What do you call twin dinosaurs?
- What do you call a dinosaur that knows a lot of words?
- Who do dinosaurs cheer for at a rodeo?
- What do you call a dinosaur that asks a lot of deep questions?
- Why should you never ask a dinosaur to read a story if you are in a hurry?
Their tales are too long.
- Why don't you see dinosaurs at Easter?
Because they are egg-stinct.
- Why are math books always upset?
They have a lot of problems.
- What is the smartest animal?
Fish! They are always in school.
- Why do calculators make the best friends?
You can count on them.
- What's a snake's favorite subject?
- What did the glue say to the teacher?
I'm stuck on you!
- Why was the bird sent to the principal's office?
She was caught tweeting.
- Why was the broom late for school?
- How do fish get to school in the morning?
They take the octobus.
- How do you get straight A's?
Use a ruler.
- Why are squares and triangles always exercising?
They want to stay in shape.
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Cross the Road Jokes
- Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?
To stretch her legs.
- Why did the turkey cross the road?
To show he wasn't chicken.
- Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to the other tide.
- How did the egg cross the road?
It scrambled across.
- Why did the lamb cross the road?
To get to the baaaaarber shop.
- Why did the snake cross the road?
To get to the other ssssssside!
- Why did the baby skeleton cross the road?
Because her mummy was on the other side.
- Why did the nose cross the road?
It was tired of getting picked on.
- Why did the plate get stuck on the road?
It saw a fork ahead.
- Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station.
- Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.
- What music is best to listen to on St. Patrick's Day?
Shamrock and roll.
- What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
- Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve?
He was parked in a snow parking zone.
- What type of flower should you not give on Valentine's Day?
- Where does the Easter Bunny eat breakfast?
- How do gingerbread people make their beds?
With cookie sheets.
- Why does the Easter Bunny's hair always look so good?
He uses a lot of hare spray.
- What do you get when a snowman crosses a vampire?
- Why do leprechauns love to garden?
They have green thumbs.
- Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the Valentine's dance?
His heart wasn't in it.
- Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
He had a hole in one.
- Why are cookies and milk a basketball team's favorite dessert?
They love to dunk.
- What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch you later!
- Why do basketball players carry extra napkins?
They are always dribbling.
- Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
- Why do tennis players make the worst neighbors?
They make a lot of racquet.
- What is an insect's favorite sport?
- What sport do hairdressers love the most?
- What is a cheerleader's favorite drink?
Make your family time more enjoyable with a few of these jokes to create some laughter. A little laughter brightens the mood and makes the random moments of life more joy-filled. Spend time with the crew and LOL with these great jokes then add a few of your own! Also, be sure to try out a few of these knock knock jokes to spice things up.
Courtney McLaughlin is a freelance writer in Charlotte, N.C. She gratefully shares her life, home and heart with her daughter and their dog.