50 Funny Birthday Wishes

Buying a card for a friend's birthday is a nice gesture, but it's really all about the message inside. Finding creative messages can help your well-wishes stand out from the crowd - and get a laugh too! Don't settle for generic messages, liven things up with a hilarious quip that will brighten up anybody's day. Whether you're writing a note, signing a card, or posting on a friend's social media account, finding a creative way to express your birthday wishes for them will really make your sentiment more meaningful.

  1. Forget the past, forget the future, and please forget the present too because I forgot to get you one. But happiest of birthdays, friend!
  2. Don't worry about turning another year older. Pretty soon you won't be able to remember your age anyway!
  3. Is it hotter in here than usual? Must be from all the candles on your birthday cake.
  4. I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk, I'd sniff you before pouring you on my cereal.
  5. Happy birthday! Remember it's better to be over the hill than to be buried under it.
  6. Another year closer to getting those senior citizen discounts!
  7. Happy birthday to a guy (or girl) who still isn't showing his (or her) age. And definitely isn't acting it!
  8. Once in a lifetime, somebody comes along with so much wisdom and brilliance that they can change the world for the better. And today, one of them would like to wish you happy birthday!
  9. They say to take every birthday with a grain of salt. I say, take it with a whole bunch of salt and a shot of tequila!
  10. You're so old your birth certificate is a papyrus. Happy birthday!
  11. I'm wishing you the happiest of birthdays with all of my butt! (Why would I wish it with all of my heart when my butt is so much bigger?)
  12. Have a party today! And remember, wine gets better with age, and age gets better with wine.
  13. At your age, people expect you to be calm, mature and sober. Disappoint them!
  14. Happy birthday! It's a big one…but then again, at your age, EVERY birthday is a big one.
  15. Happy birthday buddy. Don't worry about getting old. That happened years ago!
  16. May your heart be as full today as your Facebook wall is from people you've never spoken to wishing you happy birthday.
  17. Have a wild time tonight. Just remember "it's my birthday" is not actually a legal defense.
  18. Don't worry about another birthday under your belt. Although your actual age keeps getting higher, your mental age is still in the single digits!
  19. Older? Definitely. Wiser? Debatable. More fun every year? No question!
  20. Happy birthday and welcome to the "29 years old forever" club!
  21. A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age!
  22. Happy birthday - enjoy an all-expense paid 365-day trip around the sun!
  23. The best part of being over forty is that you did most of your stupid stuff before the invention of the internet.
  24. Happy birthday! If you wake up tomorrow in a strange place without knowing how you got there, you either had too much to drink or went senile. At your age, it could go either way.
  25. I hope your birthday is filled with many memorable moments. And that you can actually remember some of them tomorrow!

  1. Sorry you have to scroll so far down when choosing your birth year on websites. Happy birthday, old dog!
  2. Happy birthday - you don't look a day over 16. From far away. With my eyes closed.
  3. Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest. Happiest of birthdays!
  4. Another birthday? You're going to need a bigger cake…or smaller candles!
  5. May your birthday cake be moist, and may nobody use that word to describe it.
  6. Happy birthday, thanks for always being older than me.
  7. I mean, you have me, so I don't know what else there is to wish for. But go ahead - happy birthday!
  8. I was going to send you a load of cash for your birthday, but then I remembered that knowing me is enough of a gift.
  9. Happy birthday! Don't worry, I would never make fun of your age. You might hit me with your walking cane.
  10. Your birthday is becoming a serious fire hazard. Blow them out quick!
  11. May you live long enough to see Amazon delivering on the moon.
  12. You might want to check your birth certificate, I think it expired. Happy birthday!
  13. One day you're young and fun, and the next you have a favorite burner on the stove. I think we both know which you are.
  14. Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without the Facebook reminder.
  15. Congrats on avoiding death's clutches for another year!
  16. Happy birthday! How does it feel to be REDACTED years old?
  17. Start counting the cavities in your mouth rather than the candles on your cake!
  18. Happy "two minutes of intense awkwardness while people sing at you and you have to hold a smile pretending it doesn't sound terrible" day!
  19. If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas. Happy birthday!
  20. Keep on smiling while you still have teeth! Happy birthday, old man!
  21.  Don't worry about your eyesight going as you get older. It's nature's way of protecting you every time you walk by a mirror.
  22. At least you're not as old as you will be next year.
  23. I spent three hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday wish, and then I gave up. Happy birthday.
  24. Don't fret over another birthday. You were already old.
  25. With age comes wisdom. Congrats, you're the wisest person I know!
 Liven up your card with one of these funny messages guaranteed to bring a smile to everyone's faces. Whether it's your friend, your partner, your kids or your grandparents, your card is sure to be their favorite!

Kelsey Caldwell is a realtor and freelance writer from Charlotte, NC. She and her husband are parents to two amazing kids, a puppy, and rabbit.